• Jordan Rivers

Jurassic World: Non-Spoiler Review


Well in short, is it a good film?... not really. haha should you see it? YES. If you're anything like me who watched these films everyday after school as a kid then YES. A lot of people don't like it and i get why. Maybe that's why I liked it. I had such low expectations, like mega low, I'm talkn Jurassic Park 3 low. But compared to that Nickelodean adventure ride, It's just cool. That's it.


It's a monster film!

What do you want in a monster film? you want to be scared, you want to be surprised, you want monsters! this has all of those and then some.


Low Points

Definitely the cheesy parts where theres a punch line right after somebody dies and its like.. wait that guy just died, thats someones dad, show some respect dude. But at the same time this happens all the way through these films. 1 and 2 are full of awfully inappropriate punch lines where all of a sudden the characters momentarily become heartless products of war, for the sake of a joke.

The moral of the story is really the same as the rest of them.

HIRE BETTER PEOPLE TO WORK IN THE DINOSAUR ZOO.

"Hey who should we hire to look after the giant genetically modified killing machine? "how about this guy, his C.V. says he worked the deli at Countdown for 2 years and cant drive or use a gun" "perfect!! hire him and only him!"

I think what im tryna say is go see it cause its cool. No other reason. See it in a theater, its a big screen, surround sound kinda film. JORDAN RATING:7/10 in a theatre.

Also much like Mad Max's, very heavy female cast, remember "all the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park are female" lol And also the fact that nobody ever seems to be taken to court for negligence in these film is ridiculous